I’m Feeling Sad Right now

I am feeling quite sad today

It didn’t start out as such as far as a day goes, it just went downhill in the afternoon.  In fact the sun was making a late start, poking through the fog and mist, promising to warm our backs as it has been doing almost habitually of late.

We determined that a cruise in the Corvette was in order and put smiles on both of our faces.

V and I decided we were heading out just after lunchtime to attend the opening of an art exhibition where the camera was the tool of trade for these two artists.  It was held out in the country adjacent to a fine café so a late lunch may have been on the cards like the icing on a cake brings. And by way of teasing us, as we walked the 20-30 metres from the carpark to the gallery, wafts of grilled bacon filled the air. A smile returned to our face in anticipation.

A very dear friend of ours owns the gallery so it was another reason to smile as we would catch up with her, be amused by her and to get a family update at the same time.  Always a joy the catch up with any member of this family. Bubbly personalities, never too serious and always interesting conversation, one never left their company satiated, always wanting more and therefore always late for the next appointment!  Not to ever be trusted on the status of an electric fence however.  I have had the shocks to prove it.

She was busy when we arrived, talking art-stuff with potential purchasers.  Standing nonchalantly at the exhibition were a few couples wanking on about light and F-stops with the guys acting like they knew what they were talking about, holding glasses of wine and twiddling them in their fingers like they had seen on TV I suspect but with little appreciation for the juice….. or the art I felt.  The wives looking as bored with their spouses as I looked when at the Hamilton Embroidery exhibition I was conned in to attending a few years ago…… bored shitless.

Once we could prise here away from actual customers and potential paying ones, we engaged in far more important intercourse. For once, the finer points of all things equine had not been covered yet.  It was during this that we were escorted to a quiet place where we were informed that she was no longer with her long-time partner.  Any hint of a smile from any of the 3 of us was wiped from our faces.  It was shock and sadness that overtook me now.  Several hours later, it is sadness that I still feel.  Utter grief.

It is of no interest to learn of the reasons for the breakdown, and of nobody else’s business.  But I worry about them both and her two girls, both of whom had more to do with the departed dad than they did with their own dads. I actually think of the younger one as my other daughter. Unable to help other than offer anything that could help them with, I felt inadequate and sad, very sad.

As we left her to deal with other real customers we looked toward the café and its bacon and coffee fumes emanating from every crevice in the building.  The large birthday party had started to dissipate but not enough to result in spare tables for two bacon starved punters. So we were forced to retreat to our car and drive away feeling even sadder ….hungry and sad.

It is now 6pm. I have thought of nothing else.  Also, where will we go on Boxing day for the world championship of backyard cricket or badminton?  I am now worried and sad.

It has been said, ‘Tears are words that need to be written’.  I agree